For Kristen...

The 1st day we met you.  I tried hard not to cry in front of you, but I was so ecstatic at what God was doing, I'm not sure I succeeded!

Oh, my sweet precious girl.  Yesterday, we celebrated that it's been 1 year since you came home! (Officially, it was on Sunday, but yesterday was the celebration).   I've been thinking about what I would write, what I would say about your 1st year for a long time.  I don't think that I have adequate words to say all of what I'm feeling, but I will write down my rambling thoughts and maybe you'll be able to make some sense out of them...

I'll never forget the day you came home.  It was a Friday night, and the last day of school for both of us before Christmas break.  We both had Polar Express Day at school, so you and I were both in our pajamas!  I drove over to your foster family's home and picked you up, along with a lot of your stuff!  We had just found out the night before that you were going to get to come home!  We were all so excited to get you home!

May 29th- ADOPTION DAY! You forever became a Thomas!

We had only met you a couple of weeks before, and daddy and I spent our days in December like this: We would go to work, I would pick daddy up from work ,and we would drive to Oldham County to see you- we'd take you to dinner usually, and help you with your homework.  Then, we'd drop you off at the Spears' and head home (I would cry the whole way, because I wanted you with us!)  When we got home, we would work on getting your room put together!  We so desperately wanted you to come home before Christmas so that we would have 2 whole weeks without school to get to know you.  Mommy pushed pretty hard to make that happen, and the Spears were WONDERFUL about working with us to get it done!  We were so thankful that it worked out.

Precious girl, we have watched you grow in tremendous ways over the last year.  We have had many, many struggles, but the victories have been unimaginable.  As daddy and I have watched you grow, we have been overwhelmed by how God is working in your life.  You are more confident now, you believe in yourself.  You love reading, and art.  You are doing very well in your dance classes- your teacher even says it's already time to move up to the next level!  You are kind and caring, and always want to help out.  You are an unbelievable big sister.  You are so sweet with Samuel, and he adores you!  You can calm him down sometimes even when mommy can't!  He loves to listen to you read to him.

Our family of 4 headed home from the hospital with Sam

Kristen, we know that you have grown so much, because you have so many people who love you, and who are praying for you now.  I don't know why you went through all that you went through before you came home.  It breaks my heart to think about.  If I could take all those things from you, and go through them myself, I would.  In a heartbeat, I would.  But, I believe that God has beautiful, wonderful things planned for you.  I believe that He will take the ashes and the rubble that began your life, and turn it into something beautiful.  He promises that He will do that.  Your testimony is going to be one for the history books, precious one.

People tell us that you are a lucky girl to be in our family.  That may be true, but your daddy and I are the ones who are blessed to have you in our family.  You have taught us tremendous things, about God, and unconditional love, and about our own salvation.  Baby, we love you, forever and ever.  We are so thankful to be your parents.  Remember that when we asked you to come home and be our daughter, we said that it was forever.  We meant it then, we mean it now, and we'll mean it tomorrow, and the day after that... and the day after that...until forever. 

Love,
Mommy

to bestow on them a crown of beauty
    instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
    instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
    instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
    a planting of the Lord
    for the display of his splendor. -Isaiah 61:3

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.-Jeremiah 29:11

being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.-Phillipians 1:6

This is one of my favorites of you- playing outside shortly after we brought Sam home from the hospital.

changes

Our family has 2 big changes coming very soon.  We've been praying about them for a long time, and we're glad to finally have decisions made!

1. I will not be returning to work after my maternity leave.  We're gonna give it a go with me as a stay at home mom for a while.

2. We're also going to start homeschooling Kristen in January.  We feel like it's the best decision for her education.

We're really excited to start this new chapter in our lives!

For Samuel- Your 1st Month

Dear Samuel,

Today you are 1 month old.  What?!  I'm not sure where the last month of our lives went, but I know it involved hospitals, doctor's visits, family in from out of town, and lots of naps, cuddling and eating.

You started your 1st few days in the NICU, and when we were finally released to go home, we were all so excited!  Your Peepaw and Momo came to visit from Georgia while we were in the hospital.  Nana came to take care of Kristen, and all of us when we got home.  I don't know what we would have done without her here.  Uncle Matt, Aunt Jill, Caleb and Carson all came to visit too when you were 9 days old.  You slept through their whole visit.  :)  Granny and Papa came to visit during the week of Thanksgiving.  Our church family provided meals for us for a couple of weeks after you were born.  I am so thankful that they did, because we probably wouldn't have eaten otherwise.

Your sister is absolutely enraptured with you.  She reads with you and plays with you and asks to hold you all the time. All the noises you make (and you make a lot of them!) make her laugh.  You love her too, and will quiet down for her, or listen to her read and talk to you.

You are nursing every 2 1/2 hours, and it usually takes you about 30 minutes, but it has taken you as long as 1 hour.  Right now, you are sleeping from about 10:30-2:30, and then again until 6:30-7:00.  Mommy will take that sleep schedule at 4 weeks!  You are wearing newborn clothes, and some 0-3 month clothes.  You are about to make the shift to all 0-3 month clothes.  We also recently bought the last pack of newborn diapers that you'll wear.

 We go to the doctor in a couple days, so we'll find out how much you've grown then.  You're looking big to me. :)

You love to cuddle... you literally crawl all over mommy to get into a comfortable position.  You love your play mat, and have recently started intentionally hitting the little figures on it.  You are also fascinated with the Christmas tree.  I think you like the lights.  Your daddy and I think that we've seen a couple of real smiles in the past few days as well.  Your daddy gave you your 1st bottle yesterday, and you took it without hesitation.  You can track things with your eyes, and you recently discovered your tongue.  It's funny to watch you stick it out, and move it around in your mouth.  You are awesome at holding your head up- especially if someone is holding you and you're getting better at it during tummy time.  Although you like to cuddle, when you lay down to sleep, you like to sprawl out with your hands up beside your head.   No more swaddling for you.

You HATE for me to clean out your nose, but otherwise, you are a very happy and content baby.  You wake up to eat every 2 1/2 hours like clockwork, and after you eat, you play for about 30 minutes, and then you're ready to nap again.

I am amazed at how fast you're growing and changing.  I've cried almost every time you've done something new because I'm sad at how quickly this time is going, but I'm also excited about the new stages.

Samuel's Birth Story Part 2

After Samuel was born, they were running tests, and everything was wonderful.  Then, they noticed he was having just a little bit of trouble breathing, so they told us they were going to take him to the nursery for observation.  Will got to hold him for a minute, and I gave him a quick kiss.  They told us he would be with us in our room within a couple of hours. 

We went to the recovery room (where I stayed until I could wiggle my toes) and then we were taken to our room.   Fully expecting Samuel to join us within the hour, we began getting settled in, and talking to our nurse about our day.  Another hour ticked by, and he still wasn't with us, so I sent Will to check on him.  Will came back and said they were still just observing him.  Will had seen him through the nusery window and chatted with the nurse.  Sam was breathing better, but they were still observing.

Another hour ticked by and I sent Will to check on him again.  This time Will came back and said that when they were listening to his heart, it sounded "muffled" so they were going to do a chest xray on him.  They assumed everything was fine, but wanted to make sure.  Sam would be with us soon.

Another hour ticked by and I sent our nurse to check.  She came back and told me that someone would be in to speak with us shortly.  So finally at 3:30am, someone came and told us that Sam had holes in both lungs, and they were going to put him on oxygen for the night and keep him in the NICU.  She assured us that they expected his 9:00 chest xray to show complete healing.  He would be monitored a couple more hours in the NICU, and then released to our room.

So this was yet another night of not sleeping.  I wasn't allowed to move from my bed to go see him until at least 5:30, so Will went and took pictures, video etc. for me. At 5:30, my nurse wheeled me into his room.  I was allowed to touch, but not hold my baby.  So at 9:00, we went back for his  chest xray, and waited to speak to the dr. 

When we spoke with her, she told us that his lungs were showing improvement, but weren't 100% and he needed another 6 hours under oxygen and then another chest xray.  I sobbed and asked if I could just hold him for a second.  I was told no, so we sat with him and held his hands.

A few minutes later, the drs. decided to let him off of the oxygen.  So I got to hold him and nurse him for the 1st time. 

6 hours later... xray looked about the same, so we were going to check again in the morning. 

Sunday morning we thought for sure he would be out of there,  but the xray again showed improvement but not 100% healing...

So we wait.  We have another xray in the morning (Monday) and if that's clear, he should be released. 

He's breathing on his own, and his blood oxygen levels are being monitored.  The dr. said that unless she saw it on the xray, she wouldn't know there was a problem.  His breathing is normal, and she couldn't even hear a problem when listening through the stethoscope.  Her phrase, "The bad thing is, he's sick.  The good thing is, he doesn't know it."

We have had some problems getting started nursing but I think he and I are both finally getting the hang of it.

He is sweet and content most of the time, and we thank God for this miracle.  We just need him released from the NICU, and with us ASAP. :)

PS- Kristen has only been allowed to view him through the glass because she's not 14 yet.  Also, she doesn't know that baby brother is sick and we haven't quite decided when/ how/ how much we'll share with her.

Samuel's birth story part 1

Samuel Colby Thomas was born via c-section on November 2, 2012 at 11:02pm.  He was 7lbs. 3 oz. and 20 1/4 inches long. I wanted to write down his birth story before I forget. 

Our original plan: go into labor naturally, labor at home as long as possible, control pain naturally, have a vaginal birth, and keep our sweet baby boy in our room with us as much a possible.  Yep- that was the plan.

His birth story begins on November 1st.  You can read that story here.  So after that crazy drs. appointment, we were off to begin final preparations for our little man.  My brother drove my mom down from Indianapolis (and he got back home after midnight- what an amazing brother I have!)  We finished laundry and a few other things we needed to take care of.  Will took Kristen and I out for 1 last dinner as a family of 3.  We were told to call the hospital at 5am on Friday, and they would tell us what time to come in.  We all went to bed excited and anxious for the next day.

Kristen apparently caught some sort of stomach bug, and spent the night throwing up- ev.er.y.where.  So we were up all night with her.  Perfect way to begin labor, right?

So at 5 we called the hospital and were told to check in by 6:15.  So we left mom with the puking girl (I'm not sure who got the better end of the deal that day! Us, or mom!) and headed out.  They started my pitocin and about 8am.  Will and I were able to get some sleep in the morning.  We were nervous about the day, but ready to get going.  I was a little upset to find out that I was pretty much confined to the bed that day because of the pitocin, but since I came in dilated 2 cm. already, I figured labor would progress quickly and we'd be ok.  His heart rate was a little all over the place, and so the nurses monitored that closely.

At 1:00, I hadn't made any progress, and so the dr. broke my water to try to get things moving.  It also helped them know how strong to make the pitocin, because they were able to insert a tube and measure exactly how strong my contractions were.  The plan was to move things along a little quicker at this point.  The nurses were upping the pitocin, and contractions were painful, but we were working through them.  At 5:00, the dr. checked me again for dialation and I was 3 cm.  (At this point I just about threw someone out the window!) I figured I had to be close to 6-7 cm based on my contractions and pain.  If I was that far, I knew I could make it through the rest of labor and delivery.  However, when the dr. told me I was only 3 cm we had some decisions to make.

Since we had been up all night the night before with Kristen, and we had labored for so long already and hadn't made hardly any progress, I realized that I wouldn't be able to be worth much to either of my children if things continued to progress at that rate.  Also, even though we told Kristen that it may be Saturday before she met her brother, she was very worried about me, and it helped her to talk with me on the phone.  I wasn't able to do that when my contractions were so strong.  Samuel was struggling too- his heart rate was all over the place.  So, we decided to get an epidural.  Best. decision. I. made.  I was able to rest, Samuel calmed down, and I was able to talk with Kristen and assure her that I was ok.

At 7:00, I had dialated to 4 cm, and was resting (yay!).  We also had some bloody show, so I was tired, but feeling better about things.  Nurses were continuing to up the pitocin and contractions were strong and regular.... at 10:00, I was still at 4 cm. 

Quite frankly, at this point, I was done.  I had gone 2 cm in 14 hours of labor.  Also, I was thinking about my nephew Caleb's labor and delivery, and how he was in more stress than the drs. realized he was, and he ended up in the nicu for a few days because of it.  I just sensed that Sam was under more stress than he was showing, and the MOST important thing was that he was safe. 

We chatted with the dr. and she said that I had a narrow pelvis, and it just wasn't progressing very well for delivery.  She said we could continue to labor for another couple of hours if we wanted to and see if things started moving, but after that, she was going to do a c-section.  She thought, however, that we were about as far as we were going to get.  I agreed with her, and so we decided to do the c-section right away.




It was a good thing too.  He had a little cone shape on part of his head from where he was trying to come out, and he had a big bruise on his shoulder.  He also had a knot in his cord.  Basically, the boy wasn't going to be able to get out on his own, no matter how long we labored.  We were thrilled, and I sobbed at God's goodness to bless us with a son.

39.5 weeks

We had a drs. appointment today.  They were checking Samuel's weight- (8.2 give or take a pound).  It amazes me that they can't get any closer than that.  There's a big difference between a 7.2 pound baby and a 9.2 pound baby- especially when it comes to pushing that out.  Ok, off my soapbox. ;)

Anyway- they noticed that my amniotic fluid levels were low.  So my dr. came in and said, "You ready to have a baby? Because you just got yourself a ticket to L&D."

I was thinking she would say it was because of his weight.  We had already discussed the possibility of this, and I was guessing she would ask me if we wanted to be induced Friday or Monday.  We were going to take the Monday option because it would give my mom time to get here, and give us 1 last weekend as a family of 3.

However, since the fluid levels were low, she asked if I wanted to be induced tonight, or 1st thing in the morning.  Once I picked myself up off the floor- I was completely shocked by this because the pregnancy has gone so smoothly, and the ultrasound tech didn't mention any problems- I asked if we could wait until the morning.  My mom's flight was getting into Indy this afternoon.  The plan was for her to spend the weekend with my brother's family, and then come to our house on Sunday.  Plus, I had a load of laundry sitting on the couch that needed folding, and we didn't make the beds this morning. ;)

My dr. said that it was ok- as long as we did a NST first to make sure he was doing ok.

Well.... apparently the nurse who did my NST hadn't done very many of them.  She began by telling me that a normal baby's heart rate is between 140-170, and if the heart rate dropped below 120, it was a problem.  Samuel's heart rate was steady at about 120, and dropped as low as 106 during the test and the nurse kept telling me that it wasn't normal....


*insert freak. out. moment.*  Will wasn't with me because we expected a routine appointment, and I needed to pick up Kristen from school within the hour.  Also, my mom's flight hadn't even landed in Indy yet- and Indy is 2 1/2 hours away...I wish I could explain the horror and absolute fear I was feeling at that moment.  I was sure they were going to whisk me down to L&D, and cut him out of me within minutes.. .and no.one. was going to be there.  Plus, I had laundry to fold at home.

The nurse ran the test to my dr. who assured her that it was ok.  Samuel's heart rate has been lower throughout the pregnancy (my dad's heart rate stays really low too- could that be genetic?)  and so for him to drop to 106 or so was no cause for concern.. *I was taking very slow, deep breaths at this point, shaking, and trying not to punch the nurse in the face.*  I completely trust my dr. and I know that if there was any cause for concern, she would have delivered him on the spot.

So, since everyone is ok (and this momma has calmed down), we are going in 1st thing in the morning to be induced.  This is not exactly how I pictured things going but- my mom will be here to take care of Kristen, and I'm not going into labor at school, so I'll take it. :)

Pray for us tomorrow- I know inductions can take umm.... a long time, so we are prepared for a long day(s)?  I also know that I'll be so happy to have him here, that I won't care how he gets here. :)

PS-I will post a not-so-flattering picture of my belly... but the camera is already packed and in the car, so it will have to wait until tomorrow. :)

family updates

It's been a couple weeks since I've posted- yes, we're still alive- we've just been busy (such is life- right?) Anyway, I wanted to do a quick update of what's been going on:

Kristen- She's doing very well.  She moved into a new classroom last week.  She was in a 1/2 split, but we had an overflow of 2nd graders- enough to hire a new teacher- and so now she's in a straight 2nd grade class.  Her teacher is wonderful, and I'm thankful that Kristen is in her class.  I was very concerned about how that transition would go, but she's done well.  She's enjoying her dance classes, and getting ready for a recital in late October! 

Will- The biggest news in our family is that Will got a new job! He's been looking for quite some time.  His current position was such a blessing to us- it was flexible for his class schedule, and he was able to carry his own benefits.  However, now that we are a family of  (almost) 4, the pay just wasn't quite enough.  Sooo.... he's got 1 more week there and then he's going to be working at CarMax, selling cars! Go see him if you want to buy or sell your car! But wait until November- he will be training through the month of October, and doesn't make commission on what he buys or sells until November. ;) 

Me and Sam- We're 33 1/2 weeks!  Sam is growing right on track!  He's been good to his mommy during this pregnancy.  Braxton Hicks have slowed down- I think my body needed some serious readjusting to being back in school.  He's head down, heartbeat is good (around 140) and so far, everything is going smoothly.  I'm hoping that a relatively easy pregnancy= an easy delivery and an easy baby? Maybe?  Don't crush my dreams, y'all!  We are working to get things ready around here for his arrival.  My parents have gifted us with his pack 'n play so we'll be getting his "corner" set up soon.  (Sad thing about being the 2nd child is that all of the sudden a "corner" in mom and dad's room is sufficient space for you! lol) I'm loving putting away his clothes, and imagining what he'll look like in them. We've still got quite a few things to purchase for him (like a carseat- I've heard we need one of those), but we'll get there. I'm trying to focus on the "what do we NEED to get done/have to have before his arrival" list as opposed to the "this is cute/I would like to do this" list. 

Other updates: Our family is crazy busy between now and Sam's arrival.  We've got plans almost every weekend that will take up all Saturday, or Friday/Saturday, etc.  Also, our weeknights are filling up quickly.  We are trying to remember to schedule only things that we have to do, and spend lots of time as a family of 3.

We are still looking at different housing options, and we'll make a decision-sometime.  Maybe over Christmas... maybe over the summer... who knows.  We are still praying about what we need to do there, and want to make wise decisions.