When you ask me that question...

When you ask me in front of my daughter, "I bet you're really glad you're having a boy this time, right?" You may not see it, but she gives me a look that says, "Am I enough, mom?"   I tell you that we are so thankful the Lord has blessed us with 2 children, and we would be thrilled with boys, or girls.

You respond with, "Well, sure, but I bet your husband's glad to have a boy now."


You have no idea the devastation this causes my little daddy's girl.  Her daddy is her whole world.  If she thought for even just a second that she wasn't enough for him, it would destroy her.  Yes, my husband is glad to have a son.  But his little girl is his princess.  Their love is special and unique.  If we had another daughter, she would be his princess too. 

My husband and my son will share a unique love too- but it won't be the same relationship as this daddy-daughter thing.

I know, because that's what I have with my daddy.   My dad and my brother would throw the baseball around, and play "knee wrestling" in the living room.  They would go out of town for the weekend, and stay in the Motel 6, and eat Waffle House and McDonalds (2 for 2 Big Macs anyone?) and watch sports until they got sick.  But daddy would take me on a date to the park for a picnic, and we would play paper dolls (and he would make up voices for all of them!)  My brother and I both love our dad.  We both share a special bond with him, but it's not the same relationship.  And it shouldn't be.  When my brother got married, my dad was thrilled that he had become a man, and had found a wonderful woman to be his wife.  When I got married, his heart was tender, and during our father-daughter dance, he couldn't control the tears any longer.  Mom says that my dad still says, "But her name's not Melissa Thomas, it's Melissa Meighan" when he calls and gets my voicemail. 

My mom says she knew that my daddy and I would have a forever special bond right after I was born.  Mom had a c-section, and I was fussy.  She couldn't hold me in a way that I was comfortable, so she handed me to my dad.  As soon as I was in daddy's arms, I sighed deeply, and went to sleep.  A tear ran down his cheek. 

Kristen and I have a special relationship too, but it's different than what she has with her daddy.  My relationship with Samuel will be different too.

I know, because I watched mine and my brother's relationships with my mom.

Mom says that when we were little, Matt would say to her, "Mommy, you're so beautiful.  You're the best mommy in the whole world. I love you!"  2 seconds later, in I would walk and say, "uh, Mom, you need to brush your hair, it's a mess."  My mom and I fought like cats and dogs through the teenage years, but now, she's my best friend.  I can't hardly go a day without talking to her, or sometimes even make a decision (about whether or not to buy an outfit for the kids!) without talking to her about it first.

It's the same with Kristen and I.  We will fight like cats and dogs through the teenage years (man, we're both stubborn!!!) but one day, I'll help her get her wedding dress on, and one day, I'll have tears of rejoicing when she brings home her 1st child.  She'll pick up the phone to call me in tears when that same baby is fussy in the middle of the night and she can't get him calmed down.  We have a unique relationship.

Samuel and I will have a different relationship.  He'll be my baby boy forever, and when he looks for his bride walking down the isle- I'll be the only one looking at him.  I'll need to see in his eyes reassurance that this is the woman God has for him.  It will be hard for me not to overstep my bounds when his wife burns all their dinners for the 1st year, or when she doesn't know how to fold his socks "the right way."  But I will be so unbelievably proud as I watch him lead his family to do God's will. 

So you see, we are thrilled that we have a girl, and a boy.  We would be just as thrilled with 2 girls, however.  When you ask "I bet you're sure glad to have a boy now," it makes my daughter think she's not enough- like she's just "ok" but what we really wanted was to have a boy.

Also, when you say, "well, just as long as the baby's healthy, right?" in response to me saying we would be thrilled with either boys or girls, you imply that we would love our child less if he was not healthy.  And that, is simply not the case.  Yes, we pray for the health of both of our children, but even more than that, we pray that they will come to know God as their Lord and Savior.

We are incredibly blessed that the Lord has given us children. We've prayed for them for years.  And boys, girls, or aliens, healthy or sick, we are thankful for His blessings.