For Kristen...

The 1st day we met you.  I tried hard not to cry in front of you, but I was so ecstatic at what God was doing, I'm not sure I succeeded!

Oh, my sweet precious girl.  Yesterday, we celebrated that it's been 1 year since you came home! (Officially, it was on Sunday, but yesterday was the celebration).   I've been thinking about what I would write, what I would say about your 1st year for a long time.  I don't think that I have adequate words to say all of what I'm feeling, but I will write down my rambling thoughts and maybe you'll be able to make some sense out of them...

I'll never forget the day you came home.  It was a Friday night, and the last day of school for both of us before Christmas break.  We both had Polar Express Day at school, so you and I were both in our pajamas!  I drove over to your foster family's home and picked you up, along with a lot of your stuff!  We had just found out the night before that you were going to get to come home!  We were all so excited to get you home!

May 29th- ADOPTION DAY! You forever became a Thomas!

We had only met you a couple of weeks before, and daddy and I spent our days in December like this: We would go to work, I would pick daddy up from work ,and we would drive to Oldham County to see you- we'd take you to dinner usually, and help you with your homework.  Then, we'd drop you off at the Spears' and head home (I would cry the whole way, because I wanted you with us!)  When we got home, we would work on getting your room put together!  We so desperately wanted you to come home before Christmas so that we would have 2 whole weeks without school to get to know you.  Mommy pushed pretty hard to make that happen, and the Spears were WONDERFUL about working with us to get it done!  We were so thankful that it worked out.

Precious girl, we have watched you grow in tremendous ways over the last year.  We have had many, many struggles, but the victories have been unimaginable.  As daddy and I have watched you grow, we have been overwhelmed by how God is working in your life.  You are more confident now, you believe in yourself.  You love reading, and art.  You are doing very well in your dance classes- your teacher even says it's already time to move up to the next level!  You are kind and caring, and always want to help out.  You are an unbelievable big sister.  You are so sweet with Samuel, and he adores you!  You can calm him down sometimes even when mommy can't!  He loves to listen to you read to him.

Our family of 4 headed home from the hospital with Sam

Kristen, we know that you have grown so much, because you have so many people who love you, and who are praying for you now.  I don't know why you went through all that you went through before you came home.  It breaks my heart to think about.  If I could take all those things from you, and go through them myself, I would.  In a heartbeat, I would.  But, I believe that God has beautiful, wonderful things planned for you.  I believe that He will take the ashes and the rubble that began your life, and turn it into something beautiful.  He promises that He will do that.  Your testimony is going to be one for the history books, precious one.

People tell us that you are a lucky girl to be in our family.  That may be true, but your daddy and I are the ones who are blessed to have you in our family.  You have taught us tremendous things, about God, and unconditional love, and about our own salvation.  Baby, we love you, forever and ever.  We are so thankful to be your parents.  Remember that when we asked you to come home and be our daughter, we said that it was forever.  We meant it then, we mean it now, and we'll mean it tomorrow, and the day after that... and the day after that...until forever. 

Love,
Mommy

to bestow on them a crown of beauty
    instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
    instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
    instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
    a planting of the Lord
    for the display of his splendor. -Isaiah 61:3

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.-Jeremiah 29:11

being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.-Phillipians 1:6

This is one of my favorites of you- playing outside shortly after we brought Sam home from the hospital.

changes

Our family has 2 big changes coming very soon.  We've been praying about them for a long time, and we're glad to finally have decisions made!

1. I will not be returning to work after my maternity leave.  We're gonna give it a go with me as a stay at home mom for a while.

2. We're also going to start homeschooling Kristen in January.  We feel like it's the best decision for her education.

We're really excited to start this new chapter in our lives!

For Samuel- Your 1st Month

Dear Samuel,

Today you are 1 month old.  What?!  I'm not sure where the last month of our lives went, but I know it involved hospitals, doctor's visits, family in from out of town, and lots of naps, cuddling and eating.

You started your 1st few days in the NICU, and when we were finally released to go home, we were all so excited!  Your Peepaw and Momo came to visit from Georgia while we were in the hospital.  Nana came to take care of Kristen, and all of us when we got home.  I don't know what we would have done without her here.  Uncle Matt, Aunt Jill, Caleb and Carson all came to visit too when you were 9 days old.  You slept through their whole visit.  :)  Granny and Papa came to visit during the week of Thanksgiving.  Our church family provided meals for us for a couple of weeks after you were born.  I am so thankful that they did, because we probably wouldn't have eaten otherwise.

Your sister is absolutely enraptured with you.  She reads with you and plays with you and asks to hold you all the time. All the noises you make (and you make a lot of them!) make her laugh.  You love her too, and will quiet down for her, or listen to her read and talk to you.

You are nursing every 2 1/2 hours, and it usually takes you about 30 minutes, but it has taken you as long as 1 hour.  Right now, you are sleeping from about 10:30-2:30, and then again until 6:30-7:00.  Mommy will take that sleep schedule at 4 weeks!  You are wearing newborn clothes, and some 0-3 month clothes.  You are about to make the shift to all 0-3 month clothes.  We also recently bought the last pack of newborn diapers that you'll wear.

 We go to the doctor in a couple days, so we'll find out how much you've grown then.  You're looking big to me. :)

You love to cuddle... you literally crawl all over mommy to get into a comfortable position.  You love your play mat, and have recently started intentionally hitting the little figures on it.  You are also fascinated with the Christmas tree.  I think you like the lights.  Your daddy and I think that we've seen a couple of real smiles in the past few days as well.  Your daddy gave you your 1st bottle yesterday, and you took it without hesitation.  You can track things with your eyes, and you recently discovered your tongue.  It's funny to watch you stick it out, and move it around in your mouth.  You are awesome at holding your head up- especially if someone is holding you and you're getting better at it during tummy time.  Although you like to cuddle, when you lay down to sleep, you like to sprawl out with your hands up beside your head.   No more swaddling for you.

You HATE for me to clean out your nose, but otherwise, you are a very happy and content baby.  You wake up to eat every 2 1/2 hours like clockwork, and after you eat, you play for about 30 minutes, and then you're ready to nap again.

I am amazed at how fast you're growing and changing.  I've cried almost every time you've done something new because I'm sad at how quickly this time is going, but I'm also excited about the new stages.

Samuel's Birth Story Part 2

After Samuel was born, they were running tests, and everything was wonderful.  Then, they noticed he was having just a little bit of trouble breathing, so they told us they were going to take him to the nursery for observation.  Will got to hold him for a minute, and I gave him a quick kiss.  They told us he would be with us in our room within a couple of hours. 

We went to the recovery room (where I stayed until I could wiggle my toes) and then we were taken to our room.   Fully expecting Samuel to join us within the hour, we began getting settled in, and talking to our nurse about our day.  Another hour ticked by, and he still wasn't with us, so I sent Will to check on him.  Will came back and said they were still just observing him.  Will had seen him through the nusery window and chatted with the nurse.  Sam was breathing better, but they were still observing.

Another hour ticked by and I sent Will to check on him again.  This time Will came back and said that when they were listening to his heart, it sounded "muffled" so they were going to do a chest xray on him.  They assumed everything was fine, but wanted to make sure.  Sam would be with us soon.

Another hour ticked by and I sent our nurse to check.  She came back and told me that someone would be in to speak with us shortly.  So finally at 3:30am, someone came and told us that Sam had holes in both lungs, and they were going to put him on oxygen for the night and keep him in the NICU.  She assured us that they expected his 9:00 chest xray to show complete healing.  He would be monitored a couple more hours in the NICU, and then released to our room.

So this was yet another night of not sleeping.  I wasn't allowed to move from my bed to go see him until at least 5:30, so Will went and took pictures, video etc. for me. At 5:30, my nurse wheeled me into his room.  I was allowed to touch, but not hold my baby.  So at 9:00, we went back for his  chest xray, and waited to speak to the dr. 

When we spoke with her, she told us that his lungs were showing improvement, but weren't 100% and he needed another 6 hours under oxygen and then another chest xray.  I sobbed and asked if I could just hold him for a second.  I was told no, so we sat with him and held his hands.

A few minutes later, the drs. decided to let him off of the oxygen.  So I got to hold him and nurse him for the 1st time. 

6 hours later... xray looked about the same, so we were going to check again in the morning. 

Sunday morning we thought for sure he would be out of there,  but the xray again showed improvement but not 100% healing...

So we wait.  We have another xray in the morning (Monday) and if that's clear, he should be released. 

He's breathing on his own, and his blood oxygen levels are being monitored.  The dr. said that unless she saw it on the xray, she wouldn't know there was a problem.  His breathing is normal, and she couldn't even hear a problem when listening through the stethoscope.  Her phrase, "The bad thing is, he's sick.  The good thing is, he doesn't know it."

We have had some problems getting started nursing but I think he and I are both finally getting the hang of it.

He is sweet and content most of the time, and we thank God for this miracle.  We just need him released from the NICU, and with us ASAP. :)

PS- Kristen has only been allowed to view him through the glass because she's not 14 yet.  Also, she doesn't know that baby brother is sick and we haven't quite decided when/ how/ how much we'll share with her.

Samuel's birth story part 1

Samuel Colby Thomas was born via c-section on November 2, 2012 at 11:02pm.  He was 7lbs. 3 oz. and 20 1/4 inches long. I wanted to write down his birth story before I forget. 

Our original plan: go into labor naturally, labor at home as long as possible, control pain naturally, have a vaginal birth, and keep our sweet baby boy in our room with us as much a possible.  Yep- that was the plan.

His birth story begins on November 1st.  You can read that story here.  So after that crazy drs. appointment, we were off to begin final preparations for our little man.  My brother drove my mom down from Indianapolis (and he got back home after midnight- what an amazing brother I have!)  We finished laundry and a few other things we needed to take care of.  Will took Kristen and I out for 1 last dinner as a family of 3.  We were told to call the hospital at 5am on Friday, and they would tell us what time to come in.  We all went to bed excited and anxious for the next day.

Kristen apparently caught some sort of stomach bug, and spent the night throwing up- ev.er.y.where.  So we were up all night with her.  Perfect way to begin labor, right?

So at 5 we called the hospital and were told to check in by 6:15.  So we left mom with the puking girl (I'm not sure who got the better end of the deal that day! Us, or mom!) and headed out.  They started my pitocin and about 8am.  Will and I were able to get some sleep in the morning.  We were nervous about the day, but ready to get going.  I was a little upset to find out that I was pretty much confined to the bed that day because of the pitocin, but since I came in dilated 2 cm. already, I figured labor would progress quickly and we'd be ok.  His heart rate was a little all over the place, and so the nurses monitored that closely.

At 1:00, I hadn't made any progress, and so the dr. broke my water to try to get things moving.  It also helped them know how strong to make the pitocin, because they were able to insert a tube and measure exactly how strong my contractions were.  The plan was to move things along a little quicker at this point.  The nurses were upping the pitocin, and contractions were painful, but we were working through them.  At 5:00, the dr. checked me again for dialation and I was 3 cm.  (At this point I just about threw someone out the window!) I figured I had to be close to 6-7 cm based on my contractions and pain.  If I was that far, I knew I could make it through the rest of labor and delivery.  However, when the dr. told me I was only 3 cm we had some decisions to make.

Since we had been up all night the night before with Kristen, and we had labored for so long already and hadn't made hardly any progress, I realized that I wouldn't be able to be worth much to either of my children if things continued to progress at that rate.  Also, even though we told Kristen that it may be Saturday before she met her brother, she was very worried about me, and it helped her to talk with me on the phone.  I wasn't able to do that when my contractions were so strong.  Samuel was struggling too- his heart rate was all over the place.  So, we decided to get an epidural.  Best. decision. I. made.  I was able to rest, Samuel calmed down, and I was able to talk with Kristen and assure her that I was ok.

At 7:00, I had dialated to 4 cm, and was resting (yay!).  We also had some bloody show, so I was tired, but feeling better about things.  Nurses were continuing to up the pitocin and contractions were strong and regular.... at 10:00, I was still at 4 cm. 

Quite frankly, at this point, I was done.  I had gone 2 cm in 14 hours of labor.  Also, I was thinking about my nephew Caleb's labor and delivery, and how he was in more stress than the drs. realized he was, and he ended up in the nicu for a few days because of it.  I just sensed that Sam was under more stress than he was showing, and the MOST important thing was that he was safe. 

We chatted with the dr. and she said that I had a narrow pelvis, and it just wasn't progressing very well for delivery.  She said we could continue to labor for another couple of hours if we wanted to and see if things started moving, but after that, she was going to do a c-section.  She thought, however, that we were about as far as we were going to get.  I agreed with her, and so we decided to do the c-section right away.




It was a good thing too.  He had a little cone shape on part of his head from where he was trying to come out, and he had a big bruise on his shoulder.  He also had a knot in his cord.  Basically, the boy wasn't going to be able to get out on his own, no matter how long we labored.  We were thrilled, and I sobbed at God's goodness to bless us with a son.

39.5 weeks

We had a drs. appointment today.  They were checking Samuel's weight- (8.2 give or take a pound).  It amazes me that they can't get any closer than that.  There's a big difference between a 7.2 pound baby and a 9.2 pound baby- especially when it comes to pushing that out.  Ok, off my soapbox. ;)

Anyway- they noticed that my amniotic fluid levels were low.  So my dr. came in and said, "You ready to have a baby? Because you just got yourself a ticket to L&D."

I was thinking she would say it was because of his weight.  We had already discussed the possibility of this, and I was guessing she would ask me if we wanted to be induced Friday or Monday.  We were going to take the Monday option because it would give my mom time to get here, and give us 1 last weekend as a family of 3.

However, since the fluid levels were low, she asked if I wanted to be induced tonight, or 1st thing in the morning.  Once I picked myself up off the floor- I was completely shocked by this because the pregnancy has gone so smoothly, and the ultrasound tech didn't mention any problems- I asked if we could wait until the morning.  My mom's flight was getting into Indy this afternoon.  The plan was for her to spend the weekend with my brother's family, and then come to our house on Sunday.  Plus, I had a load of laundry sitting on the couch that needed folding, and we didn't make the beds this morning. ;)

My dr. said that it was ok- as long as we did a NST first to make sure he was doing ok.

Well.... apparently the nurse who did my NST hadn't done very many of them.  She began by telling me that a normal baby's heart rate is between 140-170, and if the heart rate dropped below 120, it was a problem.  Samuel's heart rate was steady at about 120, and dropped as low as 106 during the test and the nurse kept telling me that it wasn't normal....


*insert freak. out. moment.*  Will wasn't with me because we expected a routine appointment, and I needed to pick up Kristen from school within the hour.  Also, my mom's flight hadn't even landed in Indy yet- and Indy is 2 1/2 hours away...I wish I could explain the horror and absolute fear I was feeling at that moment.  I was sure they were going to whisk me down to L&D, and cut him out of me within minutes.. .and no.one. was going to be there.  Plus, I had laundry to fold at home.

The nurse ran the test to my dr. who assured her that it was ok.  Samuel's heart rate has been lower throughout the pregnancy (my dad's heart rate stays really low too- could that be genetic?)  and so for him to drop to 106 or so was no cause for concern.. *I was taking very slow, deep breaths at this point, shaking, and trying not to punch the nurse in the face.*  I completely trust my dr. and I know that if there was any cause for concern, she would have delivered him on the spot.

So, since everyone is ok (and this momma has calmed down), we are going in 1st thing in the morning to be induced.  This is not exactly how I pictured things going but- my mom will be here to take care of Kristen, and I'm not going into labor at school, so I'll take it. :)

Pray for us tomorrow- I know inductions can take umm.... a long time, so we are prepared for a long day(s)?  I also know that I'll be so happy to have him here, that I won't care how he gets here. :)

PS-I will post a not-so-flattering picture of my belly... but the camera is already packed and in the car, so it will have to wait until tomorrow. :)

family updates

It's been a couple weeks since I've posted- yes, we're still alive- we've just been busy (such is life- right?) Anyway, I wanted to do a quick update of what's been going on:

Kristen- She's doing very well.  She moved into a new classroom last week.  She was in a 1/2 split, but we had an overflow of 2nd graders- enough to hire a new teacher- and so now she's in a straight 2nd grade class.  Her teacher is wonderful, and I'm thankful that Kristen is in her class.  I was very concerned about how that transition would go, but she's done well.  She's enjoying her dance classes, and getting ready for a recital in late October! 

Will- The biggest news in our family is that Will got a new job! He's been looking for quite some time.  His current position was such a blessing to us- it was flexible for his class schedule, and he was able to carry his own benefits.  However, now that we are a family of  (almost) 4, the pay just wasn't quite enough.  Sooo.... he's got 1 more week there and then he's going to be working at CarMax, selling cars! Go see him if you want to buy or sell your car! But wait until November- he will be training through the month of October, and doesn't make commission on what he buys or sells until November. ;) 

Me and Sam- We're 33 1/2 weeks!  Sam is growing right on track!  He's been good to his mommy during this pregnancy.  Braxton Hicks have slowed down- I think my body needed some serious readjusting to being back in school.  He's head down, heartbeat is good (around 140) and so far, everything is going smoothly.  I'm hoping that a relatively easy pregnancy= an easy delivery and an easy baby? Maybe?  Don't crush my dreams, y'all!  We are working to get things ready around here for his arrival.  My parents have gifted us with his pack 'n play so we'll be getting his "corner" set up soon.  (Sad thing about being the 2nd child is that all of the sudden a "corner" in mom and dad's room is sufficient space for you! lol) I'm loving putting away his clothes, and imagining what he'll look like in them. We've still got quite a few things to purchase for him (like a carseat- I've heard we need one of those), but we'll get there. I'm trying to focus on the "what do we NEED to get done/have to have before his arrival" list as opposed to the "this is cute/I would like to do this" list. 

Other updates: Our family is crazy busy between now and Sam's arrival.  We've got plans almost every weekend that will take up all Saturday, or Friday/Saturday, etc.  Also, our weeknights are filling up quickly.  We are trying to remember to schedule only things that we have to do, and spend lots of time as a family of 3.

We are still looking at different housing options, and we'll make a decision-sometime.  Maybe over Christmas... maybe over the summer... who knows.  We are still praying about what we need to do there, and want to make wise decisions.

When you ask me that question...

When you ask me in front of my daughter, "I bet you're really glad you're having a boy this time, right?" You may not see it, but she gives me a look that says, "Am I enough, mom?"   I tell you that we are so thankful the Lord has blessed us with 2 children, and we would be thrilled with boys, or girls.

You respond with, "Well, sure, but I bet your husband's glad to have a boy now."


You have no idea the devastation this causes my little daddy's girl.  Her daddy is her whole world.  If she thought for even just a second that she wasn't enough for him, it would destroy her.  Yes, my husband is glad to have a son.  But his little girl is his princess.  Their love is special and unique.  If we had another daughter, she would be his princess too. 

My husband and my son will share a unique love too- but it won't be the same relationship as this daddy-daughter thing.

I know, because that's what I have with my daddy.   My dad and my brother would throw the baseball around, and play "knee wrestling" in the living room.  They would go out of town for the weekend, and stay in the Motel 6, and eat Waffle House and McDonalds (2 for 2 Big Macs anyone?) and watch sports until they got sick.  But daddy would take me on a date to the park for a picnic, and we would play paper dolls (and he would make up voices for all of them!)  My brother and I both love our dad.  We both share a special bond with him, but it's not the same relationship.  And it shouldn't be.  When my brother got married, my dad was thrilled that he had become a man, and had found a wonderful woman to be his wife.  When I got married, his heart was tender, and during our father-daughter dance, he couldn't control the tears any longer.  Mom says that my dad still says, "But her name's not Melissa Thomas, it's Melissa Meighan" when he calls and gets my voicemail. 

My mom says she knew that my daddy and I would have a forever special bond right after I was born.  Mom had a c-section, and I was fussy.  She couldn't hold me in a way that I was comfortable, so she handed me to my dad.  As soon as I was in daddy's arms, I sighed deeply, and went to sleep.  A tear ran down his cheek. 

Kristen and I have a special relationship too, but it's different than what she has with her daddy.  My relationship with Samuel will be different too.

I know, because I watched mine and my brother's relationships with my mom.

Mom says that when we were little, Matt would say to her, "Mommy, you're so beautiful.  You're the best mommy in the whole world. I love you!"  2 seconds later, in I would walk and say, "uh, Mom, you need to brush your hair, it's a mess."  My mom and I fought like cats and dogs through the teenage years, but now, she's my best friend.  I can't hardly go a day without talking to her, or sometimes even make a decision (about whether or not to buy an outfit for the kids!) without talking to her about it first.

It's the same with Kristen and I.  We will fight like cats and dogs through the teenage years (man, we're both stubborn!!!) but one day, I'll help her get her wedding dress on, and one day, I'll have tears of rejoicing when she brings home her 1st child.  She'll pick up the phone to call me in tears when that same baby is fussy in the middle of the night and she can't get him calmed down.  We have a unique relationship.

Samuel and I will have a different relationship.  He'll be my baby boy forever, and when he looks for his bride walking down the isle- I'll be the only one looking at him.  I'll need to see in his eyes reassurance that this is the woman God has for him.  It will be hard for me not to overstep my bounds when his wife burns all their dinners for the 1st year, or when she doesn't know how to fold his socks "the right way."  But I will be so unbelievably proud as I watch him lead his family to do God's will. 

So you see, we are thrilled that we have a girl, and a boy.  We would be just as thrilled with 2 girls, however.  When you ask "I bet you're sure glad to have a boy now," it makes my daughter think she's not enough- like she's just "ok" but what we really wanted was to have a boy.

Also, when you say, "well, just as long as the baby's healthy, right?" in response to me saying we would be thrilled with either boys or girls, you imply that we would love our child less if he was not healthy.  And that, is simply not the case.  Yes, we pray for the health of both of our children, but even more than that, we pray that they will come to know God as their Lord and Savior.

We are incredibly blessed that the Lord has given us children. We've prayed for them for years.  And boys, girls, or aliens, healthy or sick, we are thankful for His blessings. 

The 1st 2 weeks back

Whew! The past 2 weeks have been an absolute whirlwind! Kristen and I started back to school, and it's been a crazy, exhausting time around our house.  I am so beyond thankful for Will, who has seriously stepped up in doing my chores and his, so that we've had clean clothes to wear, food to eat, and a house that's at least halfway picked up.  Also, I'm pretty sure he's been waking both Kristen and I up every morning (and I'm usually the morning person in our house!)  Several people have asked for updates about how Kristen and I are both faring with school back in session, so here's your update!

Kristen: What a beautiful transition she has made!  We were a bit concerned.  She doesn't handle transition very well typically, and the Sunday before school started, they had to come get us out of church twice to deal with issues from her (we've never had our "number" called before!)  So we had some concerns about school starting that Tuesday.  She is currently in 2nd grade- in a 1st/2nd grade split class.  She does some 1st and some 2nd grade work.  Her teacher, Mr. Murphy, is very firm with discipline, which is why we chose him for her this year.  We've had  1 or 2 rougher days, but for the most part, she has been fantastic!  If our biggest issues right now are that directions have to be repeated a couple of times for her, we'll take it!  She's always excited when she has a "green" day- and we make a big, HUGE deal out of that (she got McDonald's-her pick- for dinner the 1st time she was on green.)  Overall, I'm really proud of my girl.  I don't expect every day to be perfect (they haven't been so far) but the tantrums aren't as big as they were, and they are coming fewer and farther between... and the good days are coming more and more frequently.

Me: I have an AMAZING class this year!  I moved to 3rd grade this year, and I have a lot of the kiddos that I had 2 years ago when they were in 1st grade.  I loved that class, and I love them again. :)  They're really sweet, and it's made this year a joy- behavior wise.

Honestly though, the past 2 weeks have been rough for me physically.  The 1st day of school, I was actually timing contractions (at 29 weeks) to see if I needed to call my dr.  Since then, I've learned I need to do more sitting to teach (again...soooo thankful for my good class so I can do that!) and drink a lot more water.  Contractions have calmed down, but are still a lot more frequent than they were.  (Don't worry- they're Braxton Hicks, and there's no pattern to them.  I'm keeping a close eye on them!)  I'm also exhausted.  I mean exhausted.  I'm usually tired this time of year, but this is insanity! In addition to being pregnant, and not being able to sleep longer than about 2 hours at a time (before I've got to go to the bathroom, or my leg falls asleep, or my hips hurt, or Sam gets kicking...) I'm sure it also has to do with having a child at the beginning of the school year for the 1st time ever.  Again, I'm thankful for Will who's been coming home from work early, getting dinner together, putting Kristen in bed, giving me a foot massage, and then putting me to bed.  What a wonderful man I'm married to!  (PS- my mom was right! Girls, you need to marry the nice guy!)

So that's what's been up with us!  We are praying that a long Labor Day Weekend brings some much needed rest, and that our bodies start adjusting to our new schedule soon. :)

it's so much more than just "dance lessons"

Kristen had her 1st dance lesson yesterday.  She's doing 1/2 hour of ballet, and 1/2 hour of tap on Saturday mornings.  While watching her yesterday, I got a little teary-eyed basically bawled my eyes out the whole time.  Here's why (in addition to obviously being hormonal):

This was about so much more than just a dance lesson.  Kristen has never been able to do something like this before.  Either no one has cared to put her in some sort of activity, or her behavior has been so bad that she couldn't be put in any extracurricular activities.

When she came home in December, we had serious questions about whether we'd EVER be able to do anything with her besides school, therapy and church.  Her behavior was just out of control (but she had made tremendous improvement in the 6 months with her former foster family before she came to live with us).  We were seeing full-blown tantrum meltdowns almost daily, and that's just the tip of the iceberg. 

A friend of mine commented on how much progress she's made since she came home 8 months ago.  We have to agree.  It's just unbelievable.  The fact that we were even able to consider an extracurricular activity is mind boggling.  But then, she went to her class and listened to her teacher.  And did everything that was asked of her.  And TRIED to do things that were "tricky."  She looked to us for approval from time to time, (there are viewing windows into the dance studio)  and we assured her she was doing a great job. 

For Kristen, it's a sense of doing a "normal" little girl thing.  It's a hope for her future that I can't even adequately express.  It's proof of an amazing God who loves her, and won't let go of her.

People often tell Will and I what a great job we are doing with her.  We are thankful for the compliments, because in the daily trenches, sometimes it's tough to see the progress she's made (until my mom reminds me to look at the pictures from the beginning, and the pictures from now-see below).  However, we can't take credit for her progress at all.  It's nothing that we've done.  Y'all, we have no idea what we're doing.  Most of the time, we are taking stabs in the dark about strategies or discipline techniques that might work. 

However, we pray daily for wisdom in parenting her.  And we pray for her soul daily.  We pray daily for wisdom in parenting her.  We pray that God will show her the seriousness of her own sinfulness, and that she'll come to know Jesus as her Lord and Savior.  We pray daily for wisdom in parenting her. We pray for her behavior.  We pray daily for wisdom in parenting her. We pray that she will feel safe, loved, and secure in our home.  We pray daily for wisdom in parenting her. We pray that we will be patient and merciful towards her. The list could go on and on...

I truly believe that it's just been in the last year or so that she's actually had people praying specifically for her.  I believe that is why she's made so much progress.  Her former foster parents are Christians, and I know that they, and their family, and their church prayed/are praying for her.  I also know that our family, friends and church are praying for her. 

When I talk to her therapist and her psychiatrist they are amazed at her progress, and say they haven't seen anything like it before.  It's the power of prayer, and a God who can work miracles.  I'm seeing it daily- when she chooses to tell the truth even though she's going to get in trouble- when she doesn't fall apart when we tell her "no"- when she accepts discipline and can tell us why she is in trouble- and a million other little things that sometimes I notice, and sometimes I don't...
 

The 1st time we met.  8 months ago.

Now.  Is this the same child?!

So for us, dance lessons are more than "just dance lessons," and if I start crying when you ask me about how they are going, that's why.  

Cinnamon Roll Waffles Recipe

I made these for dinner TONIGHT and I had to post the recipe ASAP.  They. Were. So. Good!

It started as an experiment.  Somehow, we were 1 meal short this week, and while that normally would have meant me ordering pizza, or asking Will to meet us at our favorite Mexican restaurant (it's right around the corner, and cheap, and tempts us soooo easily),  we're trying to cut back on eating out, so I figured I better whip up something from the kitchen.

I remembered that I had some leftover sausage in the freezer, and decided we could do breakfast for dinner.  I thought waffles sounded good, but then I realized that we didn't have any syrup.... (seriously, Mexican was sounding better and better...)

Then... I thought about these AH-mazing pancakes that I had while we were on vacation in Gatlinburg.  They were cinnamon roll pancakes with all the cinnamony (is that a word?) goodness swirled in the middle, and then the "syrup" was cinnamon roll glaze.  I'm drooling just thinking about them....

Anyway.  I don't make pancakes, (and by don't, I mean can't-- they fall apart on me) so I knew waffles were the way to go, but how to swirl the yumminess into them??? Hmm....

Here's what I decided: I made regular buttermilk waffles, and topped them with all the yummies. My family was in love.  We didn't have any leftovers tonight!  Even Samuel was jumping for joy.

I've got to learn how to take better food pictures...

Here's the recipe:

Buttermilk Waffles (Use whatever your normal recipe is.  I used a mix- my mom has the best waffle recipe ever, but I couldn't find it...)
So.. cook your waffles in your waffle iron.

Toppings:
Brown sugar:  I melted butter (I used about a stick, but you could use more or less depending on what looks good) on the stove, and added brown sugar and cinnamon.  (sorry, I didn't measure- I honestly just used what I had left in the cupboard-- maybe a 1/2 c. brown sugar, and a TBSP cinnamon????)  If I had some chopped pecans I would have added them to this too.

Glaze:  I melted about a 1/2 stick of butter, and added powdered sugar until smooth and the glaze consistency that I wanted.  I played around with this some, and I have no idea how much sugar (maybe a cup???) I added.  Just do a little to start.  If you add too much, add a tiny bit of water to make it thinner.  This is a glaze, not a frosting.

Take waffles, and top with desired amount of brown sugar mix, and glaze.

So there you have it: add some bacon or sausage, or eggs, and some fruit, and you have a yummy dinner (or a sugary breakfast!)

Let's get organized: part 3- the bathroom

We've been slowly but surely reorganizing each room in our apartment.  We started with the living room and the kitchen, and now it's time for the bathroom.  I'm sharing our new organization system, not because I think it's the best, but sometimes, looking at what others have done inspires me, or gets my creative/organization juices flowing, and I get that aha! moment.  Maybe sharing our ideas will do the same for someone else.  If not, thanks for humoring me. ;)

We have 1 built in linen closet (love it!), some storage under the sink, and a small medicine cabinet.  We also added another linen closet for some extra storage.

Our main closet now holds: diapers, baby lotion, body wash, etc.  Inside that locked toolbox is all of our medicines (It's a requirement of the state in order to keep our home open for foster care).  The 2 canvas baskets hold extra toiletries, and things we don't use everyday.  Then we have: beach towels and older towels, and sheets.  Toilet paper on the bottom.

Under the sink:  in the canvas basket are things we use (almost) every day.  My hairdryer, straightener, and curling iron rest next to that, and then we have a small trash can. 

In the medicine cabinet: since we don't actually use that for medicines, we put things that Will and I use daily, or things we don't want Kristen to get ahold of (like Will's razor). 

Another Pinterest idea! Magnetic strips to hold bobby pins, tweezers, etc. (no, I don't know what that mystery stain is, and no, it won't come off. Joys of apartment living!)

In our other linen closet: towels! 

So that's it- that's how we make our small bathroom work for 3 (almost 4) people!

Motherhood

I love my child, but this is seriously what I feel like most days.  Moms-and teachers-out there can relate.  She doesn't do this to her daddy though- just to me.  Nice. ;)

This accurately portrays it too...






Seriously though, I'm glad that she's secure enough to know that she has a mom who will respond to her needs... she just better not teach her baby brother to call for me like this. ;)

Let's get organized! Part 2: Kitchen

Edit: I forgot to mention that this shelving look is NOT what my ideal kitchen looks like, but we were trying to do this for next to no money, and hopefully, we'll be moving within the next year, and those shelves will not be going with us.  We can live with it for now. :)
This is part 2 in a series- click here to see part 1.

Ok, so I was really proud of what I had done in our kitchen, and then I visited my mom's new house, and her huge kitchen with its brand spankin' new granite countertops, stainless steel appliances, and ceramic tile floor (that doesn't show dog hair or dirt!)-- that they basically stole because home prices have dropped so low out where they live, and when they sell it, they'll make their millions (ok, maybe not millions, but they'll make some good money on it!) I digress.

I visited my mom's house, and felt like my tiny little kitchen in my (have I mentioned this before?) 800 sq. foot apartment was completely inadequate.  So I didn't want to post at all, but then I reread my post about contentment, and I remembered that we are not the only people in the world who have a small space.  So here it is!

1st of all- I like to cook and bake.  I'm not saying that I'm the world's best cook, or that I should open a restaurant, but I can turn out some decent meals (thanks to my mom for teaching me to cook as a child!)  So.. the kitchen is an important room in our home, and I have a lot of stuff that I use.  I  tried to clean out what I could, but I really do use these things, so I kept most of it.

2nd- Our kitchen was functional before, and I was amazed that it took as much reorganization as it did!

The only real problem that I had was that our pantry was too small.  It worked for Will and I, but as our family has grown, it's become too small.  Also, you had to basically lay on the ground to see the bottom 2 shelves, and well... that wasn't working anymore.

So here's what we did (don't worry- I won't show you every single cabinet and drawer, but I am showing you most, because I don't have many!):
1st, let me show you what we're working with:

We cleared off and moved a bookshelf from our room, to the middle of those 2 white cabinets.  (Our "pantry" was 1/2 the height of 1 of those!)  I moved the pantry from the small cabinet, to the larger one that used to contain our dishes. 

So here's what we have- the cabinet on the left holds all of our appliances.  On top of that is a basket that holds tablecloths and cloth napkins. 

I think you can see what's on the bookshelf- not 100% sure we'll keep bottles there, but for now, it works.  I let you know in about 3 months what we decide! yikes!!! :)
 

The cabinet on the right now functions as our pantry.  Everything is organized (mostly).  However, even it's a little on the small side.  The basket on top holds bread, and chips.

The cabinet above the stove is lunch making central.  Everything we need for lunches- containers, lunch boxes, water bottles- is up here.  Hopefully it will make lunch making go smoothly since we won't be searching all over the kitchen for a lid to find a container!

The cabinet to the right of the stove holds spices, and some things for baking.

 I have this set of drawers in between my stove and my fridge-yes, 1 is broken.  I keep measuring cups, etc. in the top one, serving utensils (the fancy ones) in the 2nd drawer, potholders in the 3rd, and aluminum foil, baggies, etc. in the bottom.

I registered for those trays when I got married- and it's one of the best things I registered for! Perfect for kitchen organization!

Under the sink-- this cabinet is deep, because our sink sits in the corner, but it's hard to get to the back of it.  I think we're utilizing it better than before, but I don't know.

This cabinet is my favorite! It's deep and holds all my pots and pans. :)  Those organizers came from Walmart but I could only find the bottom one on their website. Who knows- they're located with the kitchen organization stuff.

2 more cabinets round out my kitchen.

Under the stove we keep our cookie sheets, etc.

The basket above the fridge holds things we need to hide from Kristen (candy, mostly) but there's also a couple of sharp knives in there.  In the cabinet above the fridge, we keep pitchers, vases, etc.

 So that pretty much rounds out our kitchen! It's not my mom's, but it will do for now. :)